Over the years I have heard the phrase "that's why I don't have female friends" hundreds of times! Whether I’ve overheard it, an acquaintance said it, or I read it on social media, it bothers me every single time.
When I hear this phrase I always think:
"But aren't you a female?"
How can you discredit the companionship of yourself? Should males not seek your friendship?
I mean, obviously a woman who says this has experienced some type of hurt in the past, but every woman is not out to hurt you. Genuine women still exist.
However, I can totally understand why some women may feel this way; I have been hurt by women. But, I've also built beautiful relationships with women that I can call my sisters. I've learned to leave the hurt from previous friendships in the past so that I could build stronger friendships for the future. Nothing can sabotage a new friendship like holding on to old hurt.
Here are some lessons I’ve learned about friendship:
Everyone is NOT your friend. Some people are acquaintances, coworkers, neighbors and nothing more.
Having a handful of friends is usually all you need. The best things come in small packages.
You reap what you sow in friendships. If you are always gossiping with a friend, you’ll probably lose that friendship through gossip.
Don’t confuse social media likes with friendship. Just because someone likes your picture doesn’t mean that they like you. Use social media to socialize, not find friends.
It’s ok to grow apart. Some friendships are not meant to last. Don’t hold on to something after its time, that’s toxic.
Sometimes you need time away from friends and that’s ok. When you do get together, you’ll have lots to talk about.
It’s ok to disagree with your friend. If you never disagree, you don’t have a friend, you have a yes woman.
Let your friends know that you love and appreciate them. Nothing bites more than feeling like you're being taken for granted.
Friendships should be judgment free. You don’t have to like everything they do, but you don’t have to condemn them when it’s done.
Be the kind of friend you want. You can’t expect your friend to be loyal and understanding if you don’t possess those same qualities.
Lots of women are going to come in and out of your life. If you’re lucky enough to find a healthy friendship, cherish it. Friendship among women is not dead.
What number on the list resonates with you the most? Comment below.